Today's youth...

Ok, so last night I went to Amber's softball game, which I saw none of. Apparently they won though... I think they actually won by the ten run rule after having been beat by it in all of the previous games. I rolled up in my minivan listening to softcore hits. As I pulled into the parking lot I noticed Sommer and Jessie walking over toward the jungle gym with some strange miniature being. Apparently they call those things kids... Well, I thought it would be funny if I drove by them and exclaimed, "I'm Rick James, bitches," as I smakced them in the faces. On second thought, it would have been downright hilarious... As they might say in the hood, "That's off the chain, yo." I also figured that it would be very inappropriate and a bad thing to do in general... After pondering the choices, I decided to just park the van and let my mother slide into the drivin chair so she could get outta that place. I then walked over to the jungle, cautiously, as to slip past the ninjas undetected. I walked over there and said "Hey, Kidz." Please note that I did pronounce kids with a "z" and not an "s". We watched the child that they were supporting run around and go ape shit on that jungle gym for a while. Then flat face arrived... The first thing he said to me was, "Hey, do you have any weed?" I said, with a grin on my face, "No, I don't participate in your illegal activities" So we sat there and made funnies at the expense of others for a while... Flat face and I were on a roll... We had insults left and right. After a few minutes, Sommer noticed that some kids were picking on another kid at the jungle gym so she told us. "Ok, go for it mom," I replied. She then went over and said, "Stop picking on him, you're gonna make him cry." "Yeah, that'll show them." Then I jokingly said, "Why don't you tell the kid that's getting picked on to rape the other kids?" Then she actually yelled, "Rape him, Rape him." This sent the kids into a frenzy yelling rape and hitting each other. Sommer and Jessie walked up to the softball field embarrassed. Flat Face and I eventually suppressed our laughter and followed them.

TBC...

Ok, funny story, there's this kid named Billy that is always at the games and always follows us around... Well, he's really annoying and we all hate him so the last two games everyones basically been telling him to fuck off cause we hate him... Last time he grabbed Jessie's ass and tried to lick her face. Sooo... at the game on Wednesday our jokes and shit got even worse... Flat Face started throwing this stick and telling him to go get it. Well, naturally after he threw it one of the times we ran, well Jessie and Sommer did at least. Flat Face and I just sort of walked away... He eventually caught up with us in the woods where I slipped on some sticks and said, "This game is fucking dangerous. Whoever the fuck invented this sport needs to go to hell." That being said, it is worth mention that Billy was swinging on vines and talking about beating off coyotes again. Well, we were getting pretty pissed off so when he came back Flat Face said, "Billy, I'm gonna give you two dollars to go away and never come back again." Billy accepted the offer and left. Well, that's the end of that chapter, or so I thought. Jessie said she felt bad... I said something to the effect of, umm, this kid grabbed your ass and tried to lick your face last week and you feel bad that we paid him to fuck off? Well, that went unanswered. BTW, I hope that deal had a lifetime warranty. It should work though, cause Flat Face told him that if he ever bothered us again he would punch him in the face and take the money back... LMAO... that's a riot... Flat Mr. Peace Face punching someone in the face... Well, that's the end of this story.